Leaving the Nest

          As the days grew nearer to Charles’s departure date, Ann’s motherly nature took hold of every fiber of her being. She was beginning to think that maybe joining the Army wasn't the best choice for him and maybe he should give college one more try (even though during the three semesters he did “try” he managed to achieve academic probation). No, she knew in her heart of hearts, his decision was the right one. This moment wasn't about her, or the ache she felt in every cell of her body, this moment was his and his alone.

          Charles was the oldest of her three children, all boys. He wasn't a “bad” kid, just one without direction. During his high school years he had done the usual rebellion, slacked on his school work, pushed his limits with his attitude and mouth, and even dabbled with marijuana. Although it was this rebellion that would be the very thing that would divide the family, it would ultimately strengthen it. His relationship with his father was strained due to Charles’s inability to securely grip adulthood. Ann and her husband, Miguel, were rarely on the same page when it came to parenting techniques. Miguel had a no-nonsense/traditional approach, whereas Ann had a more non-traditional way of looking at things. Ultimately, their contrast of ideas became too much and their relationship began to dissolve. Thankfully, they were able to strengthen their relationship and co-parent in a way that was healthy for the whole family. They imposed some “tough love” into Charles’s teenage angst world, which created an effect that was far tougher for Ann and Miguel than it was for Charles.

          The months and years to come were hard. It was hard for Ann to watch as Charles would falter, jumping from job to job. His behavior and lack of respect was beginning to affect his two younger brothers. They began to have trouble in school and with their peers. Being supportive for Charles was important but not at the expense of his younger brothers. Eventually, Charles was asked to leave the home. This decision was not only hard to make but it exhausted Ann’s body, mind, and soul. She would often cry alone, her heart breaking for her son, but knowing that their decision was right for him. It would be this heartbreaking turn of events that aided Charles in the choosing the right path towards adulthood.

It had been twelve months, almost to the day, since Ann and Miguel had packed Charles’s bags and sent him out into the world. They now found themselves standing amongst other proud parents inside a small room filled with anxious soon-to-be United States soldiers. It wouldn't be until this moment, the moment when their little boy stood before God, his country, and his two proud parents, that they were finally able to breathe. They had made the right decision; they had swallowed their pride and come together, parenting as one unit as opposed to two.

          During his almost 21 years of life, Charles had lived either at home or within a comfortable distance away from home, close enough for Ann. She had always known this day would come, the day when one of her little “birds” would fly away from the safety of the “nest” she and her husband, Miguel, had created. She began to feel torn between the pride she felt for her son’s decision to join the Army and the gripping pain, knowing that he was no longer going to be her little boy. As she began to rationalize her feelings it became clear to her that he would be all right. Until she breathed her last breath, her job as a mother was far from done; she would always be there for her baby birds, even if it meant kicking them out of the nest. It is a far greater reward to watch as they learn how to fly on their own than it is to enable them never to try.